Being a Baby

Apologies for the lack of posting recently, everything's been a bit manic.

I quite enjoy being short, it allows me to blend into the crowd and hide easily. I don't know why, but it also makes me feel more feminine; if I am wearing heels and am taller than the majority of the guys I am with, I feel like an ogre. However, being short also emphasises how ridiculously young I look-my sister is way taller than me and she is three years younger than I am. One time, we got asked if we were twins, which was awful for us both because we both aspire to be nothing like each other! As well as being short, I have a round face, which further makes me look like a child. No matter what amount of compensating I do with my fringe, I have yet to overcome it.

Older people don't understand why it is such a burden to look young. "When you're older, you'll wish you looked younger", they patronisingly say. They don't understand the difficulties of having to carry around ID EVERYWHERE you go, in case you end up in a pub or need to buy a lighter. I attended a party the other week and some guys who were sitting next to me really loudly whispered to each other that people starting uni were getting younger and younger, clearly talking about me, even though due to starting this university a year late, I was actually older than half the people in the room.

At least I share this trait with a number of celebrities, and at least I am not yet a thirty year old who still looks underage. My favourite example of a celebrity who looks half their age is Lauren Mayberry, lead singer in the band Chvrches, who is twenty-seven. I love her band and feel like I can relate to her on some level because of the age thing.

Choosing clothes is difficult. I had to avoid the dungaree trend a few years ago in order not to look like a toddler. On the other end of the scale, if you want to dress up to go out, you wonder whether you can get away with more risqué clothes, or if you will look like a try-hard. Despite having to carry round ID to prove you are in fact the age that you are, if you try to get away with child tickets on public transport, suddenly it's ridiculous that you would be considered underage. I haven't tried to get away with that for a number of years, after barely getting away with it due to my hotter friend flirting with the bus driver.

The worst is when you realise how old you are in relation to those around you. In my first year of university now, I am constantly surprised that the people I am talking to are younger than me. Similarly, I used to work with a load of sixteen/seventeen year olds, and they couldn't believe I was twenty and not their age. It becomes really difficult to judge people's age when you first meet them. It is so depressing to be told you look really young, because of the amount you feel you have changed since that age. Since I was fifteen, I worked out how to use eyeliner and NOT look like a goth (even though that was probably the aim back then). I dress better (I hope), I speak differently and many of my opinions have changed. Plus I can handle my alcohol way better!

I don't know what to do! -But watch me look back on this post in ten years and wish I'd made the most of it, unless I'm Jennifer Aniston?