I've never, ever been the maternal type. It's not that I'm not caring, it's just the very thought of having a child of my own is such an alien concept to me. Yes, you might say I'm too young, I'll definitely want them when I'm older, and that may be the case, but I really don't see that happening.
My sister had Baby Annabelles and the likes when she was younger, but they always freaked me out. I didn't see why you would want to cart around this potato-faced thing and cater to its every whim, when you could be having much more fun playing Lion King with Beanie Babies, or writing a story. Growing up it seemed that all my female peers loved playing "mummy and baby", dragging a doll around, and wanting to hold their infant relatives. I just didn't get it.
I remember disclosing the fact that I never wanted kids to some classmates in secondary school, and one said that I'll be really lonely when I'm older and won't have a purpose. I resented that comment because why would motherhood be the only success I look for in life? Why would I need to produce my own company, when there are 7 billion other people in the world, and the number is only growing? It isn't that I don't think motherhood isn't a huge achievement; I definitely think good mothers should be congratulated on the hard work they put into their children and everyday life. I just don't have it set as one of my life's goals.
Another reason is that some very close members of my family have been diagnosed with ASD and, while the absolute cause of autism has not been fully discovered, there are strong cases that there is a chance it is passed on genetically. I have seen how difficult it is to raise a child with ASD, and while I'm absolutely not saying that children with ASD shouldn't be responded to the same as other children, I know that I would struggle to cope with one (-small dig at the lack of support parents of children with ASD receive-).
You may call me selfish for not 'embracing the miracle of fertility'. The truth is yes, you are entitled to call me selfish. I want to be able to afford to go on holiday when I want, where I want. I want a nice house that won't be ruined by the stickiness that seems to ooze from children. I want the freedom to live my life how I want. I want to be my own person, rather than be defined as 'mother' before my own name. I don't particularly see it as selfish myself to want to give up my dreams for something that I personally do not look for in my future, however I can see why some might.
I don't think babies are cute, I think they literally all look the same. I may very well read this back in a couple of years' time, completely turned around in my views about this. Those people who say that 'you have to reach a certain age and then suddenly the maternal instinct will kick in' may be right. But for now, I am very much looking forward to buying a house, settling down, and getting a dog.
-Post inspired by BBC 3's Young and Sterile: My Choice-
(but don't worry guys, I'm not getting sterilised)
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